Spanking Romance Round Table – Spanking As We Age
How old were you when you realized that spanking had to be a part of your life? I mean really a part, as in having a partner to share it with. Were you 20, 30, maybe 40+? Are you still working this out? And what happens to our spanking behavior as we get older?
I started being interested in spanking when I was about 15, reading some of those old paperback romances we would now call classic for the genre. A number of them had the heroines being spanked, and it really intrigued me. I kept that to myself; 15 is a formative year.
When I was 19, I entered into my first real spanking relationship. The man I was dating was 42 years old and very much the dominant party in our relationship. Firmly, he taught me how to behave. I had been pretty well out of control ever since my mother (my only parent) died when I was 18. I was bratty and deserved all of the spankings I received. But more importantly, it set the tone for the rest of my life. When that relationship broke up, I had to search to find another man who would satisfy my need to turn over some of my control to an outside party.
It took me 13 years, and one broken marriage, to find the right person. By that time, I was over 30, but still in good form, vitally active, and had reverted back to my earlier brattiness. Fast forward: I’m now 53. How has that relationship changed in 20+ years?
After about a zillion spankings, I have to say I am much, much better behaved. I’ve mellowed out and learned most of my lessons in good comportment. So I rarely earn a spanking. Most of the time, they’re more playful than punishment. Not that they don’t hurt. They do. Sometimes, they hurt my dignity more than my rear end. After all, I’m a middle aged woman with grown kids and a controlled lifestyle; I shouldn’t be baring my rear for a belt. Especially as my butt isn’t what it was when I was 30!
Still, spanking is definitely a threat that means something to me. It usually doesn’t take more than that threat to get me to realize how my behavior has gone awry and to get me to straighten up and fly right. I still screw up occasionally, whining too much, making stupid mistakes that could have easily been avoided, spending too much money (not too often on that one – I’m a miser as I get closer and closer to retirement), and occasionally talking back or not listening. But these are now rare issues.
Let’s think about this. With the exceptions of erotic spankings and playful smacks on the rump as you’re passing in the hallway, isn’t the point of punishment spankings to teach you better behavior? If you’re not learning to calm down, screw up less often, and manage your spending, are the punishment spankings working? If they’re not working, what purpose do they serve? Maybe you just need to be generally punished regularly to atone for the guilty feelings that build up over time. Does that latter scenario work for you? Shouldn’t you be learning to deal with everyday guilty feelings and minimize their impact on your married life?
I look at the spanking behavior in my own life as an evolving process. Undoubtedly, it will become less and less as both my husband and I get older. But it’s still the 900 pound gorilla in the room. If I mess up, he still has a hand, a belt, and the dreaded wooden hairbrush. My trajectory appears to be one of more even temperament as I get older.
I know of people into their seventies that still have spanking behavior. It slows down, it becomes erotic, even if only occasionally occurring, and less and less for punishment. BDSM may play a part, but again, it’s unlikely to be for actual punishment, even when painful.
I hope spanking will always remain part of my life, no matter what age I am. As I imagine myself in my 60s and 70s, it makes me uncomfortable to think of how humiliating it would be to be 65 years old and earning a spanking, but that just makes me more determined than ever to keep my nose clean. I’d much rather save my spankings for fun times. [nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?]
It will be fascinating to read how you all see yourselves and spankings in the future. Please leave a comment here, so I’ll know you visited and gave it some thought.
Read more journeys through spanking and find out how people envision themselves as spankers and spankees in their future. Go here for more: