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struggle disciplineR: Resistance

Ah, we come to the consensual/non-consensual part of our alphabet program.

I like strong men and strong heroes. I like them to be physically strong and mentally strong. I get all squirmy when a hero can wrangle a heroine into his arms and captivate her intelligence. I love it when a hero understands self-denial, doesn’t spank when angry, and demands and gives respect. Reminds me of my husband. I’m a lucky lady. (And no, he’s not reading this.)

But what about that first spanking in spanking fiction? (Note: not real life.) Can it be non-consensual? Is consent required every single time a spanking takes place? How much negotiation does it take to screw in a light bulb? (Just kidding.)

In my fiction, and the fiction I enjoy, the spankings don’t have to be consensual. They can take place under duress, even. But (and this is a big condition), by the end of the book, there has to be agreement that spankings will take place if X, Y, or Z happens. If there’s no agreement by the end of the story, there has been no growth in the characters where discipline is concerned. I think most spanking fiction requires that a reader suspend her disbelief long enough to enjoy the non-consensual aspects without viewing them as assault. They are not intended to be permission for a real person to commit bodily harm on any other person. And, let’s face it, when spanking romance gets criticized by other fiction writers, it is often because those writers consider it assault to spank without consent. But there are a lot of things in fiction that aren’t real. That’s what makes it fiction!

So, how do you feel about non-consensual spankings in fiction?

Remember: One person who answers each day’s question in a comment for that day’s post will win a $26 Blushing Books gift certificate. You have to comment on all 26 posts to be eligible to win, but I’ve asked easy questions at the end of each short post, so it shouldn’t be onerous. If you’ve missed the previous posts, do a search on “Alphabet Challenge” in the search box at the bottom right of the site. All the posts will be listed for you and you can go back and participate.

For your hopping convenience:


  1. I think they usually start as non consensual in a lot of the books I read, and an agreement builds from there. In my book, no such agreement is mentioned, it’s just implied as a way of life, much as it is in some historical books..

  2. I think a lot has to do with the feeling you get about the characters in the set up to the scene. Is he a nice guy who has just had his last nerve ending stomped on or he is just a big mean bully. That’s what make the difference in how I feel about it.

  3. I think when it’s the first time in fiction it’s very arousing. We fantasize, at least I do, that we say no, no, you wouldn’t dare, when we squirm inside and put up token resistance and in our heads we are saying, bring it on. The characters in fiction need a starting place as the story progresses the characters have to make some changes and grow. By the end of the story they can become more like able. It also depends on the story. Some spanking fiction is dark like some of the darker spanking fiction like Strictland Academy or Prima by Carolyn Faulkner which I love but the whole premise is non-consensual.

  4. Non-consensual in fiction is what makes it hot. Especially for the first spanking and even subsequent spankings depending on the circumstances. But yes, by the end of the book, if there isn’t consent it starts to look like abuse.

  5. Kathy Heare Watts

    So, how do you feel about non-consensual spankings in fiction? I think you said it just like it is, it may very well start out as non-consensual and a shock to her in the beginning, but by the end of the book, it has been discussed and agreed upon by both parties that thiis will be the way if they are to be together.

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