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couple arguing 9677705_sY: Yelling

Have you ever noticed how so many romance heroines (particularly spanking romance heroines) yell and carry on? I don’t mean during a spanking, but rather preceding one, or even causing one. It seems like these women can’t hold their tempers worth a darn. They yell, scream, threaten, even try to hit. Is this a consequence of the spanking romance genre, or is this part of real life?

Men can be victims of domestic violence. We often think of women in shelters but men get abused by their spouses, girlfriends, etc., regularly as well. And woe betide the man who yells back; he’s immediately accused of mental abuse. Men and boys learn early on not to be harsh with women. Some men cross the line, but women do too and society cares a lot less about that. Where does this begin? Does it start with yelling? Throwing things? What makes women turn to violence against an otherwise non-violent spouse? We can’t possibly know all the reasons, but my guess is that yelling is a big part of it.

Personally, I would never yell at my husband. I’m not a yelling sort. He would never yell at me—never has—and I want to give him the same respect. But a lot of people do get into yelling matches. Maybe it makes it that much better to make up later.

But in a spanking romance novel, a woman can get emotionally outrageous, and the result will be a spanking, sometimes tears, and a hug at the end. I do this in my novels, and in fact, one instance comes to mind quickly: Queenie’s belligerent encounter with Will, in Spanking Her Highness. She really gets her mad on, and Will’s answer is to toss her over his shoulder and take her off for a spanking. It works in the case of a fictional romance, but I think there might be other consequences if this was a real life situation.

Do we portray the effects of people yelling at each other realistically in spanking romance? Is this another case where the reader needs to suspend her disbelief rather than finding the fiction ridiculous?

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  1. It *sounds* softer when you are reading it than in real life! Also, i agree with Katherine. It depends on what is being said. If they are being funny/feisty etc, that’s one thing, if they are just flipping out and being mean, that’s another.

  2. I like the yelling in fiction when it is feisty and kind of almost over the top so it doesn’t seem to realistic.
    When I see it in real life, I cringe.
    I am definitely prone to over reaction in my real life, and that is one of the reasons I asked hubby to do DD.
    It has helped, because instead of walking away when I get snarky (I have backed off on yelling a lot too, since I hit 40), he addresses it right away.
    It gives me a chance to stop and reconsider.

    But in fiction, I like it when it leads to a good old fashioned OTK.

  3. I am not a yeller. When my husband yells ( very seldom) I get upset and cry. He then stops and comforts me and then we talk.

  4. In my world yelling wouldn’t result in a spanking. I have yelled when I was younger and my husband just walked away. Like Kathy said, maybe with maturity the yelling stops. But in a spanking story any yelling would be cause for a trip OTK.
    As for abused men? It happens all the time and in my opinion, that’s when it’s time to get out of the relationship.

  5. Kathy Heare Watts

    Let me back up to the beginning, you brought out and excellent point, wives/girlfriends who abuse men, it is real. We didn’t see it until it was too late that our son’s fiance/then wife was physically abusing him. She would beat on him with objects. We had always taugh him that you do not hit girls, so he took it. Their marriage only lasted about 3 months and I can’t say I was sorry to see it end. He is happy with his second wife and their children.

    Yelling! I used to scream and hollar when I was upset, but got over it. You can feel your blood pressure RISING as you yell, so it is never a good thing. I don’t really remember yelling at my husband, and he is calm, he would walk away, not yell. I don’t yell anymore, haven’t for years. Maturity maybe. Maybe not so much as yelling in stories, as raising your voice and stepping over the bounds of appropriate behavior in situations, and yes, then correction is needed. Or having a really pissy attitude!

  6. I have yelled at the kids but never at my husband. I think that in a spanking novel a strong leader would not take well to being yelled and a spanking would be a logical consequence but not sure if it would happen that often in real life or not.

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