Welcome to Patricia Green Books! This week, I’m participating in Spanking Romance Reviews’ Spanking Round Table Discussion. The topic is “Bringing Spanking to the Relationship.” There are a number of authors and enthusiasts participating. You can find links to the others down at the bottom of this post.
So… Who or what brought spanking to my relationship, and how do others find their way to the DD lifestyle?
My relationship started online. My husband and I met through a BBS (bulletin board service) in the early 90s. That was the mode of meeting local people online at the time. As part of that BBS there were forums for writers, erotica writers, and BDSM specialists. There was no forum for Domestic Discipline at that time. Since we are both writers, we met in one of those forums. (I can’t recall which one.) Over time, we had online conversations and got to know each other. Elements of BDSM were in all our writings, and it was just accepted as something each of us would find as a normal part of any relationship. Neither of us brought spanking into the relationship, it was simply part of the framework.
Later, we met and found our written communications translated to chemistry offline and that was enough to seal the deal. As I said, spanking was never questioned, and our relationship morphed into Domestic Discipline quickly.
It was easy for me, but not so easy for others. I think it must be very scary to have a desire for spanking — from either party — and have little or no way to express what must be a taboo subject. My guess is that it starts from a little slap and tickle and then maybe a discussion can ensue. I’ve heard from a number of women that they instigated their own spankings and that their husbands went along, getting into it after a while as they saw their marriages improve via a bit of discipline. At the same time, although the topic was discussed (always a good beginning), a few people I know were unable to find accommodation in their marriage for spanking behavior. It is viewed as “abuse” by many people and that line remains firm in the majority of households.
Spanking is one potential tool in the marriage toolbox. There are so many others, many much more important. To my way of thinking, it doesn’t matter who brings it up, so long as a discussion takes place, fantasies are explored, and the behavior is mutually agreed upon, and part of a program to improve the marriage, either through erotic spankings to enhance the sex life, or adult discipline spankings to increase peace and cohesiveness in the household. At no time should spanking be one-sided, even though one spouse or another is the sole spanker and the other the sole spankee, because, no matter which party insists upon it, it cannot work without cooperation and goals cannot be met.
If you are interested in bringing spanking to your relationship in any form, I encourage you to read spanking romance and Domestic Discipline books and explore spanking blogs and forums online. Find out the ways such relationships might start and apply some of what you learn to your own relationship. Perhaps share a book with your spouse and note his or her reaction. You might be surprised pleasantly. Remember, the two of you have a lot in common or you wouldn’t be together. Be honest with each other. The rest should follow.
That’s my take on bringing spanking to the relationship. Read others’ perspectives by following the links below.
